Teaching Our First Yoga Class
Yesterday, as a group at yoga teacher training, we taught our first class for people other than our fellow yogis in training. We planned the class together and then each person had a part to teach. I practiced my part of the flow quite a bit at home, and even recorded myself and put it on YouTube yesterday. (I posted the video at the bottom.)
Anxiety Was Calling My Name
I was really nervous and had so much anxiety about teaching this class in person though. I freaked myself out over it. My stomach hurt, I didn’t want to go, I had to pee like a million times. I thought about it and thought about it, and I practiced it a lot because I wanted to say everything perfectly.
We Aren’t Perfect
It is interesting to me how I can film a video and put it to the internet for people to see, and it doesn’t bother me as much as teaching it in person. I am obviously an introvert. The video that I made has mistakes, too. I said put your thigh on your knee at one point and didn’t even catch it while saying it. I said other parts wrong as well. The dog walked in front of the camera at the end, but by that point I was like, oh well! I decided one of the main points of Balance Queen is to show that we aren’t perfect anyway. Part of me just thought that no one is probably going to watch it, so just post it. It gives me practice teaching, and I don’t have to do it for a live audience.
Giving Ourselves Credit
Before the class, I reminded myself that I had practiced and felt pretty good about how much I had improved teaching that flow in the past couple of weeks. I reminded myself that I am a beginner, and I need to allow myself to be one without picking myself completely apart to the point of shutting down. I was nervous while teaching it, and started sweating profusely. I did make mistakes, and I forgot some of the things that I wanted to say. I showed up when I was scared and didn’t want to though. I did what I needed to do. Sometimes, we are so hard on ourselves and don’t give ourselves any credit for what we did do.
Will Teaching Yoga Serve Me
I honestly don’t know if I even want to teach yoga when I am done. I have thought about doing yoga videos like Bad Yogi or Yoga with Adriene as well. I do yoga to have fun and reduce anxiety and depression. If I teach it, will it just create too much anxiety for me? Will it be worth the time I put into it? Do I want to teach it? Am I good enough to teach it? I don’t want to let fear stop me, but I do think it is important to question if it aligns with what I want and what best serves me and my mental health though. I think back to when I started teaching first grade, and how I was a hot mess of anxiety. Sometimes, I still am because teaching little kids always brings new challenges. Overtime, I have become more and more comfortable with it though, and I know that is just how it works. We learn as we go, we get better, and it becomes easier.
We Don’t Always Have to Know Where We are Going
For me, the experience of challenging myself to take the yoga training, grow as person, learn something new, and get out of my comfort zone is pretty amazing when I think about it. I have learned a lot about yoga and myself, and it has been a great experience whether I end up teaching it or not. I am just trying to challenge myself, be open to new possibilities, go with the flow, and see where life takes me. I know there are other ways to challenge myself, too. I don’t think we have to always know where we are going (and we need to let ourselves just be sometimes), but I do think it is also important to try to question our intentions and challenge our fears.
What are you going to do that challenges your comfort zone?