If I Don’t Want It, I Don’t Eat It
It was my grandma’s ninetieth birthday party on Sunday afternoon. I knew there was going to be cake from Sam’s. I am kind of a dessert snob I guess. I really like wedding cake and good buttercream frosting, but if it is from most grocery stores, I don’t really care to have it. People I know are aware of my rocky relationship with food. I figured if they saw that I did not get a piece of cake, they probably would think that I am not really practicing what I preach since I support the anti-diet. That is not the case though. Intuitive eating is eating if I want it and savoring it. It is also turning it down if I don’t really want it. I was not hungry or I probably would have eaten it because it was the food that was available. I do try to eat what is available now if I am hungry even if it isn’t my first choice. However, I wasn’t hungry, and I did not really want it.
If I Do Want It, I Savor It
The night before, I wanted ice cream. My husband and I went to Cold Stone Creamery to get some. I am kind of an ice cream snob too. If I have ice cream, I usually wait until we go get soft serve. When I got there, I couldn’t decide what I wanted… as usual. None of the signature creations looked good. I just wanted something simple. I finally decided on a small cup of salted caramel. (Salty and sweet is my jam!) It was really rich, and I did finish it. I don’t think I could have eaten any more than what I had. I enjoyed every bite and took time to savor it. There are times when I want a turtle sundae or extra toppings, and I try to honor that too. I try to remind myself that I can have desserts again so I don’t make myself feel sick by over eating.
Desserts Are Made Available
I do not keep a lot of desserts in the house, but that is not to restrict or avoid binging on it anymore because I know the more I tell myself “no,” the more I want something. The mindset has changed and the mindset is everything. The main reason I don’t keep it here is because I do try to buy food that will make me feel good for the most part, while also trying to keep the grocery bill down. I usually keep chocolate in the fridge or some other dessert so that I do have the option available if I want it. I don’t make desserts very often because it is a lot of work to make them, and then throw half of it out because we didn’t eat it. I don’t like to spend a lot of time in the kitchen anymore either or waist money on ingredients that we will only use some of.
The Obsessive Thoughts Go Away
There has actually been chocolate in the fridge from Aldi that I do like, and it has been there for about three weeks. There are three out of five bars left. This has not been from restriction. It has been from asking myself what I really want. I haven’t even really thought about them, unless chocolate has sounded good. In the past, they would have been on my mind constantly because I would be thinking about how I shouldn’t have them. Now the option is there to have it any night if I want it.
You Can Have Dessert
I don’t always have everything figured out, and I don’t like to pretend that I do. I don’t always follow this exactly. I am only human. These are just ideas about what has helped me the most. Sometimes, I go on kicks where I have a small dessert almost every day. It is always changing. It may not work for you and that is ok. Your balance may look completely different than mine. I am sharing my story because I want you to see that if you are struggling with your relationship with food, there is hope that it can balance out. You can have some dessert and enjoy the shit out of it!